#i think i had a burnout
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An announcement to say that GOH Faith is on a short hiatus ! Episode 4 will come only in a short while for I am drawing fanarts instead ! Indeed, I have been feeling down for a moment, then got sick and I'd prefer to get used to drawing again as to avoid any drop in quality ! š¤
#like really#i had an awful time for months now ?#i think i had a burnout#but i'm back into drawing now !#on a roll
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for anyone that doesn't know, i recently started school again! (that's why ive been so mia) so ill be posting class projects whenever i finish them,,, this was a figure drawing assignment :)
you can get a print of this here!
#along with moving and starting school againā i had a bunch of family and health stuff thrown my way at the start of this semesterāā#so im slowly catching up on work from this past month hsbdhdjf#my art#artists on tumblr#art#illustration#uhh i think that's all my original art tags#im really happy with how this piece turned out!!! :D#during critique someone mentioned how this felt like a representation of creative burnout and i was like omg. felt.
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happy solvermas
#cause t. no actually if christ is the son of god and the solver is god then it'd be like uzimas#quick sketch i pulled out of my ass yesterday to see if i could get myself out of art block/burnout/whatever ive got going on#v was added after cause i had no idea how to work her into the scene#implied nuziv or something look man im just desperate about this ship#and i dont know how to draw fluff or whatever#im so bad at romance i dont know how to express it#but i've been desperately trying to draw nuziv for the past months#i think this is actually like some of my best linework yet im really satisfied with everything right now#been a long time since i've felt that#turns out the āstop overthinking every pixel of the expressions and just draw the approximation the audience will get the jistā approach wo#ks#something something n is the star of their life. tree light chrismtas#it is taking. All of my restraint right now#to not be So Mean to all of you#You Don't Even Know#I Could Do Something. I Might Still.#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones v#serial designation v#murder drones cyn#i need liam to explain whether cyn and the solver are the same person already so i can tag them appropriately its driving me nuts#oh yeah cyn got a plush core to chew on by the way#the idea of giving her a chew toy was rolling around in my head and i think its a very funny visual so here we are
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:D
#gravity falls#relativity falls#soos ramirez#wendy corduroy#grenda grendinator#I think the GF burnout I've been feeling over the past year or so is finally starting to wear off a bit ^^#I've had like a bazillion things I wanna work on and I just haven't had the spoons#taking a couple months off from posting really helped I think :)#here's hoping it sticks this time lol
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A blow straight through the heart.
Fic so good it ended me my art slump
The image quality got messed up, click here for a better version
#brienne of tarth#jaime lannister#jaime x brienne#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#fic: The Golden Knight by dreadwulf#(based on)#the green knight#IT'S SO GOOD PLEASE READ IT#had me bawling for days#and please click for details they took years off my lifespan#i think i overdid it but i haven't touched a pen in like two years so#i got so carried away by the moss i forgot that i have to color all of that in later#but i wanted to do the descriptions justice#that and having the sudden overwhelming desire to draw a bunch of greenery (i have not seen a tree in weeks)#also i am aware the height difference is a bit off maybe but she's literally described as impossibly tall!#anyway i really hate what happened to the image quality. idk where i can upload it in hd#as to where i've been: long story short i graduated. employment got me. had burnout and family issues. quit and changed jobs. normal stuff#somewhere in between all that i got myself a cat :)#i only just regained the will to draw again and i hope it lasts this time#i might be able to post my older wips soon#i want to join aa week this year i hope i have the time to do it#nbsart
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I know Machete was sent away when he was young, but did his parents actively hate him? His mother always looks soā¦ angry with him at all times
No, I don't think they hated him. Actively hating your child is an extreme and uncommon emotion. And the sample size I've offered is also really tiny, I think I've only drawn Machete's mother twice this far. She doesn't look quite that peeved most of the time.
I'm more inclined to believe that they were just normal people being pushed into a corner by the immense stress and acute hardship in their lives. Machete's mother might not have been the most warm, peppy and affectionate person to begin with, but that wouldn't have prevented her from being a perfectly capable parent if the circumstances had been different. She did her best to take care of him, even if she was exhausted, frustrated, and tired of putting up a brave face. I suspect her husband wasn't as supportive and present as he could've been, childcare was something she had to deal with on her own.
#I've been thinking of whether she could've been going through some level of burnout or postpartum depression when she had him#if that was the case it could have interfered with the maternal bonding process#which would've made the idea of giving the youngest and most troublesome child away significantly more palatable#either way I don't see his parents as the villains in this scenario#the person who actively and proudly made his life difficult was the priest he was apprenticed to#when he decided that was the career he needed to pursue#answered#white-bird-et-al#Vaschete lore#in the modern au she's still a stern and reserved woman but a normal mom in every metric#in fact she was probably quite protective of Machete when he was young#since thanks to modern medicine she knew what was going on with him health-wise#and it didn't make her feel helpless and hopeless in the same way it did in the original setting
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A piece of home
#i like to think that when siffrin loses their hat loop picks it up#particularly in one hat endings#i know that doesnt mesh well with the symbolism of letting go#but loops very bad at that anyway#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#two hats spoilers#isat loop#the ocean took me 2 months#multiple do-overs#and a burnout#but i got there! and i like how it turned out! and i even had fun!!#edit: whooopps i can see how it looks like sand ahdhsg. oh well!#art tag
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do you happen to have that page that talks about the beauty standards of each race?
Yeah sure. While scavenging pics for this I found this neat reddit compilation & chart & theory talk too. I had um, way more to say than I anticipated (I know you only wanted the one page. I have nothing to say for myself. Like most topics in Dunmeshi things snowball because theyāre so interconnected. Mercyā¦) so, many races and observations are only mentioned near the bottom.
Beauty standards and race in Dungeon Meshi
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Not pictured thereās also how elven society is harsh on visibly disabled people, and how the demon took away Mithrunās silver eyes and ears to take away his pride. Thereās also how Senshi might have fit in with the orcs more easily because of the dwarven wide body shape, and how they tend to have more body hair too I suppose. In the extra on orcs we see Senshi living with the orcs and he gets judged because of the hierarchy rather than his looks.
What is fashionable also differs from culture to culture, and thereās how tattoos only seem common with elves, though dwarves and others do also sometimes have some. They seem to not raise much brows, which makes sense since for many essentially theyāre for professional (magical) purposes especially with elves. Gender roles also differ in type and importance, but generally they are similar to irl ones for the races we see. Elven society seems to be the least gendered, which would be an unsurprising logical outcome of having lesser sexual dimorphism aka they look more androgynous. Comparing fashions and gender roles and how they affect beauty standards would be a whole other compilation and conversation. Kui has great worldbuilding partially because sheās got such a good grasp on sociopolitics and geopolitics. History affects cultures and beauty standards greatly. Kuiās oneshot Distant Utopia was very eye opening on her way to worldbuild and the consideration she gives these things, I do really recommend reading it.
Out of the big 5, we know the least about gnomes, but their sheet does say both culture and region are similar to dwarvesā and they end up being confused together often, so we can imagine the beauty standards are similar to dwarvesā as well.
I wanted to touch on this in a post eventually, but how one daydream hour page said half-foots tended to be curvaceous like in the artwork below puzzled me for a long time, all the half-foot characters we see during canon are rather slender and lanky after all, Chilās succubi also being more curvy than plump. Economics are for sure a factor in that I imagine, the half-foots characters we see are all implied to be some flavor of poor or malnourished, as are half-foots depicted as empoverished oppressed minorities in general. Even comparing the artwork with the half-foot sheetās depicted average half-foot, the ones on the left seem bigger. Wouldnāt it make sense though, if unlike dwarves half-foots donāt have similar naturally wide bodies, yet due to idolizing dwarves they work towards having a similar body shape/type to emulate them?
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Itās said half-foots tend to stick to pretty ethnically homogeneous regions (aka half-foots-only communities) unless they move to the big city with ambition to try and make it big (like Chilchuck and his wife & kids did), and thatās interesting imo because then that would mean that in a ton of half-foot communities, they rarely see or interact with dwarves whom they try to emulate. Of course, one thing about beauty standards is that when they get adopted, at one point it stops being "this is how dwarves look and so this is how half-foots should look" and just becomes "this is how half-foots should look", most people feel as though beauty standards arenāt learned but innate, so I figure the half-foots wouldnāt have any problem still seeking dwarvish traits when there are no dwarves around.
Thereās also stuff you can glean here and there if you want to extrapolate more. Like how in the race swap artworks, Mickbell is only smiling in the dwarf portrait, and Rinās elven portrait looks very close to her elven one- Rin who is stated to be beautiful in her profile blurb. Benichidoriās extra does teach us tallmen can definitely have harsh beauty standards, but also since the text portrays her as very dysmorphic thatās likely reflected in her thoughts to a much more intense degree than is common, not an accurate strict baseline to go off. Ah, Kabruās blue eyes are also why he and his mother lived a rough life in Kabruās hometown, but that seems to be regional. Good post here on the topic of Kabruās blue eyes and ties to irl history. Thereās a lot to be said about Kabru being a man that in many ways is close to elven beauty standards, and how that might have affected or been affected by his upbringing with elves + his persona as someone that can effortlessly charm most people. Marcilleās section here in this essay also goes into Marcilleās struggles to fit in with the ideal image of an elf.
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Looking human
Also notable are beastkins and demihumans: Demihumans are all dehumanized which makes people treat them worse. So if you differ from the visual idea of "human" (an in-world subjective categorization just as much as demihuman is) most people do judge you negatively. Elves and dwarves get to fight about which type of human is considered the prettiest, but demihumans are below tallmen and half-foots, they are considered as simply below the beauty contest, incompatible with it.
Onis are perhaps the demihuman people we know of with the least cultural influence on the dunmeshi world, and with the least intensely different appearance than other demihumansāthey seem to be technically categorized as human to people not from the eastern archipelago?ā but even them are treated as lesser than human, treated as beasts to slain for reputation points or useful strength to have around and command. Itās said their "magnificient horns" and fangs are often shaven off when the oni lives in tallman towns, so you could easily make the argument that onis are denied the right to have their own beauty standards, having to conform to other peopleās and going through mutilation to take away features they might otherwise have taken pride in. Inutade was bought by the Nakamotos from a dangerous sumo fighting ring that got one of Inutadeās tooth broken on her first and only fight, and kept as a low ranking servant ever since. Remember when I said different fashions existed in dunmeshi and how those could also affect beauty standards? Like the elves, if you look at the portraits pages which include a lot of characters that arenāt in the story you can see distinct cultures within the same races, for example one young elf is bald which is in sharp contrast with the usual elven long luscious hairstyles, and thatās especially true for onis I think. Maybe not only from different regions but different eras as wellā¦ They have a bit of population in the very north of the western continent, so I like to think some of the ogres live in very cold, maybe even subarctic or arctic conditions. The point Iām getting at here is that within a race, culture/ethnicity like with Kabru will also influence them it isnāt just tallmen as a whole, different communities will have differing beauty standards. The oni history blurb and third row first collumn portrait remind me of Mongolia (which historically was a lot of different nomadic communities with different cultural identities as well. Something something, the oni empire experienced a decline and then tallmen overpowered them, and now theyāre governed and split apart by stronger social classes & slavers and the richness of culture was hurt for it especially if they have no real community left of their own), but obviously many of them are dressed and look rather japanese, makes sense considering living in/close to Wa, and first row second collumn portrait reminds me of ainus which again would be logical considering geographical placement, though Iām far from an expert. Interestingly, ainus are indigenous people both in Japan and Russia- Perhaps the northern western continent ogres are meant to be closer to Russia than Canada like I imagined? Ok tangent over.
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The kobold sheet says theyāre especially sought after as slaves because theyāre "adorable", but locally in the western continent theyāre repeatedly said to be seen more as ferocious and dangerous. The dehumanization is most apparent in the first comic below. The language barrier and conflicts no doubt worsen this by a lot, but I think itād be hard to deny that their canine appearance makes the dehumanization worse. "Theyāre ferocious beasts, theyāre demihumans, they canāt be communicated with". Most characters in Dungeon Meshiās world are desensitized to slavery and most characters are prejudiced one way or another. Point being, kobolds are fully removed from human beauty standards, but no doubt for kobolds, other kobolds are more beautiful than humans are. Theyāre assumed to be an uncivilized bunch, but just like any other people they like to adorn themselves with nice clothes and jewelry and keep themselves clean and groomed; they too take care of their appearance and take pride in it.
And the orcs! This one we have the most contact with in canon, with not only there being foreigner characters from the ethnicity or hearsay of their homelands and culture but full on contact with a community. We get to see up close what theyāre like and what they think, and of course in turn theyāre our introduction to how demihumans are harshly looked down upon and seen as inferior, less human and thus less worth valuing and less dignified. Itās text that orcs are ugly to most humans and humans are ugly to most orcs. Since I judged they didnāt need accompanying explanation the pictures showing this are in the pictures dump at the top.
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God forbid you sell vegetables to orcs my god- but then again they do basically mandate adventurers to kill any orcs they come across so yeah the world isnāt above that even a little bit.
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So yes, my main point here is simply that orcs are yet another evidence of the physical ideal of "human" being an important beauty standard for human societies globally.
Izutsumi is our glimpse at how beastkins are treated in the world, and in Wa at least thatās ending up being caged and mistreated as part of a freak show. Izutsumi hates her appearance and wishes she could leave the feline part of herself behind to only be human. Interestingly, not that we have a lot of info on them so this is very much a take with a grain of salt situation, but there seems to be less stigma around artificial beastmen, those who can shapeshift at will. The main difference is of course appearance, that most of the time they simply look like average tattooed humans. Artificially creating humans is an illegal practice, and no doubt itās not well regarded, but being able to hide that makes them less likely to be discriminated at any moment, or even just discriminated less intensely. Again, looking human is important, not only for belonging but for safetyās sake. Beauty standards rule the world with harsh hands.
Mermaids and fishmen
Ok weāre done now right? Right-! But waitā¦ Waitā¦! Mermaids and fishmen are said to be demihumans too, special separate cases to the main three demihuman species however, which is also represented by how mermaids and fishmen both are in the Adventurerās Bible chapter Monsters meanwhile ogres, kobolds and orcs are in the chapter World. Theyāre an interesting topic because they directly tackle this topic, not only in a meta way for the readers but also making characters themselves struggle to quantify their humanity with the goal of knowing wether they should be eaten or not, especially Chilchuck. Chilchuckās "is it really just a matter of feelings?" mini arc.
The party asking themselves "Should we eat this?" is very common, and often they end up playing a little loose on morality, like eating the red dragonās meat despite it having digested Falin. Not unsimilarly Marcille freaks out a little over the vegetables they harvested having been grown with fertilizer, aka largely human poo. Half of the motivation of "should we eat this perhaps sentient creature" is out of consideration and compassion, but more strongly and more often, the characters struggle with a sense of taboo at eating something too closely related to humans. Even, feel uncomfortable because of the deepseated impression that eating it would dirty them in some way. Cannibalism is an interesting and relevant topic in many ways, but what I want to mention is how thereās the more or less universal belief that committing cannibalism inherently taints you as a person and turns you more monstrous, morally but also literally depending on some myths such as w*ndigos and onis in some cases, like in Touge Oni. Marcille and Izutsumi both express a fear of eating monsters turning them monstrous. Maybe this is part of what Laios was hoping for, honestly. There are two fears here, if eating a demihuman monster constitutes as cannibalism or not, and so, will eating it taint you because itās a human, or will eating it taint you because itās a monster? You are what you eat, until itās a little too literal. You morally are the means by which you get your food, and you physically are the result of your nutrition. Dungeon meshi manages to mix an exploration of humanity with the theme of food because our relationship to food is very deep and complex, psychological as much as physiological.
In the end, the characters sort of shrug and accept that theyāll never quite understand the world of mermaids and fishmen and how they operate, and what that means about them. Laios is the one always challenging these notions other characters take for granted, itās not obvious to Laios why people are softer on mammals than other animals and plants, itās not obvious to Laios why people would be afraid of eating a monster just because itās a monster, itās not obvious to Laios why some food is gross to Marcille but not fish testicles, itās not obvious to Laios why you should immediately regard orcs and kobolds badly.
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"Cows are probably closer to humans [aka closer to being human] than fishmen, though theyāre clearly intelligent", dehumanization to lessen empathy towards them to be able to eat them. Meanwhile, mermaids seemingly have a less noticeable "civilization" or intelligence, they hunt in groups like fishmen, but they donāt use tools and such, they feel more primal and similarly instinct driven, and yetā¦ Do they attract sympathy more? Mammals, humans, is it because of their nature or because of their appearance?
Both the nature and appearance of fish are ones people donāt typically sympathize with. "Fish donāt feel pain", "goldfish only have 5 seconds of memory", "itās okay to keep fish in completely empty bowls too small for them until they die from it", so many lies and misconceptions exist that make people less considerate of them. The average lifespan of a goldfish isĀ 10-15 years, the record is 43, but theyāre not seen as lives that really matter, so a lot of goldfish die in a few weeks of bad aquarium conditions. Thereās a lot of research on animals evolving to look cute and appealing to make some predators want to kill them less and parents want to care for them more, including humans. First good google research result gave me this credible short article on the topic. In Chilchuckās weighing wether a fishman is far enough from being human or not to eat, "face is 100% fish" is his biggest argument for it being more acceptable. The face, the most important thing for empathy and recognition. The face, the decapitated fishman one that falls into his hands next chapter.
To quote @room-surprise: "Chilchuck can't explain why it's wrong to eat the merpeople, even though it's NOT complicated. But the problem is Chilchuck would have to accept and acknowledge that the merpeople might be people? And that's outside of the worldview he passively believes, so he can't just say that, because he doesn't think that's true. But that IS why he "feels" it's wrong. And it's all you'd need to say for Laios to understand! But it would require acknowledging that maybe the way they're treating and talking about the merpeople is wrong."
The idea of Chil not being able to grapple with how maybe some monsters are more humans than they seem, him who had been an advocate of half-foots rights, half-foots who get undermined and treated as inconsequential sacrificesā¦ Grappling with how he could relate to the merpeopleās situation almost, and pulling away because itās so existentially horrifying. I do not want to see myself into an hostile fish-faced warrior I canāt communicate with. In a way this also relates to Chilchuck being the only party member who doesnāt see Izutsumi as a cat in the relationship chart, the only one to treat her with full human dignity. He knows the struggle to be taken seriously, he knows being infantilized and he knows what itās like to be treated as less than human.
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Below, you will see Chilchuck draws the line of where they become not okay to eat as when "they already look like mermaids". Above, thereās speculation that the algae hair is partly to mimic "the mermaidsā beautiful female form". Is it because mermaids are their enemies and the ambiguity might give them extra seconds to attack or flee? Is it to trick adventurers instead? Itās striking to me that this is what works, with the adventurers. Sure the fishmen are intelligent, but explicitly here, what makes them no longer acceptable prey to Chilchuck is that they look close enough to a mermaid, close enough to human. Mermaids who of course themselves have this form to entice and seduce and charm the adventurers they prey on. Chilchuck considers the intelligence due to the tridents, but most of his internal debate centers around their appearance, and the image of a fishman skewered sickens him. The power of mimicryā¦ Mimic being a beautiful human woman. Mimic being cute, babies being wired to make us feel protective and softened. Half-foots, sometimes pretending to be children for scams or help or avoiding trouble.
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The mermaids are only concerned by their differences and not their similarities, and have no trouble treating the fishmen as food rather than peers. To an outside perspective like us, the audience, all these categorization of "more human" and "less human" between onis and orcs and elves and tallmen etc seem stupid and unfounded, but to the people living in Dungeon Meshiās world, elves may as well be mermaids while onis are fishmen, not alike at all, unworthy of empathy and thus fine to eat.
Ultimately, Dungeon Meshi promotes unity. Itās about seeking to understand the unknown and the misunderstood, the dehumanized and the inhuman. It shows the good that comes from seeking to understand what you do not, even when thatās one another.
#Dungeon meshi#dunmeshi lore#Compilation#Okā¦ I think I didnāt forget anything. Feel free to point things out or discuss in comments and tags though#Delicious in dungeon#Ik i strayed a bit from the central topic but who knew beauty standards and discrimination went hand in hand /s#Ask me about my dunmeshi kobold ocā¦ā¦ā¦.. ask me about my dunmeshi ocsā¦ā¦..#Can we give body neutrality an amen#Tw racism#cw racism#The āwhat are you talking about Marcille. Senshi is handsomeā gag has 2 layers then doesnāt it#Like obvi Marcille is noticing the difference between shapeshifter and og senshi rather than making a judgement#But the elf being *the* one to notice and say āSenshi looks more handsome than usual thatās weird??ā may very well be an effect of living#with elven beauty standards yeah#Meta#I wanted to make a post on the half-foots body type thing and the oni mongolian coding and the chilchuck merman thing so#Three in one šµ why take the initiative when you can just wait for the tiniest opportunity#Chilchuck tims#Analysis#dunmeshi fishmen#Itās very interesting to think of how there being so many people *that* physically different affects politics and beauty standards#Mimicsā¦. Pacing my room. Pondering. Mimicsā¦ā¦ā¦#The burnout is over yippee#Ok but for reals though race is largely a social construct. Critical race theory good. Go read Distant Utopia by Ryoko Kui#āYeah sure.ā < person who thought sheād just be grabbing like 3 pics and had no clue sheād become hyperfocused for hours#The classic societal obsession for classifying and exaggerating physical traits into boxes of innate goodness vs evilā¦
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š©ø BLOODBATH
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x shadow generations#shadow#IM SHADOWING OUUUUUTTT#shadow is the one saving me from post-exams burnout rn#I THINK I MIGHT EVEN DO THAT ONE ANIMATION IDEA I HAD ON MY BRAIN FOR SO LONG (also shadow related)
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I missed these guys so much, they couldn't break my art block (more on that next week) but I had to draw them once it was broken
[Image ALT included]
#monster cabinet#disco elysium#de skills#body horror //#scopophobia //#I think this last week's had the most art I've drawn all year#that burnout is ROUGH they weren't kidding#First time I've drawn for fun and for myself in *checks watch* nearly a whole year#ANyway I'll try to schedule art now so I have less stress and less 'vanishing off the face of the earth'#unless I get possessed by an art demon you know how it is
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So, despite some faults, I really enjoyed totk, and on its anniversary I want to say something about it. Other people have said similar things before but itās really important to me and actually a big part of why the story of totk was meaningful to me, so I want to also say it:
Zelda needed to come back from draconification. The story needed that. It wasnāt lazy and just ignoring āconsequencesā because (imo) that was the *point*
The point is to feel like there are going to be terrible consequences and then say actually, no. You can come back from this, with the help of other people.
To me at least, that was the theme of the whole story.
If botw was about how the world goes on past loss and grief and starts to heal (how flowers grow in the ruins and the world can be beautiful again, be worth saving, even if it has changed)ā¦then totk was about a more personal kind of healing.
The weight of the world should not be on your shoulders aloneā¦you, alone, should not have to fix everythingā¦you should not have to sacrifice yourself, but when you do, someone will be there to save you from it.
This turned into a really long ramble so:
You (Link) gained so much and now itās gone. It feels like youāre back to where you started and yet you know you have to do it all againā¦you were weak and you failed and youāre weaker nowā¦but
You go down to the surface. Monsters swarm across it once again. Other people are fighting them too though. You help, but itās not just youā¦
You go to the Rito, the Gorons, the Zora, the Gerudoā¦just like with the divine beasts, there are friends who help you save each region. But this time, part of them comes along with you when you leave. Itās nice, you realize, the first time one of them protects you from a monster you werenāt prepared for. Youāre still weaker than you were before, but someone has your backā¦
When you go up to the sky you see a strange new dragon there. Thereās something about them that feels familiar. You try not to think about it.
You go down to the depths too. Itās terrifying at first. You hate it. You only want to get what you came for and get out of the darkā¦.but slowly, the light grows. You get stronger. The dark feels like a challenge you can face (and someone has your back).
There are spirits down there. You donāt know when theyāre from, but some part of you wondersā¦are these all the people you let die in the Calamity? (You help them find rest from their wandering. The weight on your shoulders feels a little less heavy).
Thereās so much gloom. The first few times the sky turns red and hands chase you (a reminder of what youāve lost, how you failed) you just run. Eventually though, you have to fight. It feels like the (second) worst day of your life again. But you manage to get free of the grasping gloom and stand and fight, as wild and desperate as it is. Beneath the manifestation of your worst fears, thereās another thing to fight, but this time it has a face (a voice in the back of your head saysā¦you know this isnāt all on you and your failureā¦itās really Ganonās fault right?). You get through it.
At every turn in your travels, it seems like something reminds you of Zelda. Her passion, her curiosity, her kindness. You miss her.
At first, the tears you find reassure you. She may be in the past, but sheās safe. Sheāll come back somehowā¦but then you hear the word draconification for the first time. You want to believe she wouldnāt do it but you know her and the fear sits cold inside you. (Zelda is a lot of things. Sheās been allowed to be more of them, since she was freed from her hundred year battle, without her father holding her back. But deep down inside her, thereās a vein of self-sacrifice that still runs strong. Itās what saved the world before, after all).
She did it. She really did it. Sheās gone from you (from Hyrule) forever, and itās all your fault. If only you hadnāt failed so utterly in the battle (you can hardly even call it that) under the castle. If only youād caught her. If only you hadnāt let the sword break. You should have protected her you should have been better itās all your fault and now she has to live with the consequences, forever. Everything really is on you, you should have been better.
(Zelda POV: you couldnāt call upon Hyliaās power in time, you were too content to let it wither and fade away from you, ready to be free of it. You shouldnāt have. He got hurt, the sword got hurt, itās your faultā¦Sonia and Rauru help you channel it again, Sonia helps you learn how to turn back timeā¦but you donāt save her. She dies because you couldnāt save her. Rauru dies not long after. There is no one left to guide you, once again. You could spend years trying to figure it out on your own. But you did that last time. It didnāt work. Self-sacrifice, stepping in front of someone you love, that worked. (You do what you can, to call upon the sages, to help Link in the future, first). And then you swallow the stone. Youāve come a long way, in the past five years, allowing yourself to exist. But in the end, self-sacrifice worked last time. Itāll work this time too.)
You (Link) go down beneath the castle. You were supposed to bring the sages but you didnāt. Itās nice, for someone to have your back. But no one else should get hurt to fix your mistakes.
They follow you anyway. They fight with you, against the hordes, against the greatest enemies you defeated together, along the way. Theyāll have your back, even if you donāt think you deserve it.
You fight Ganondorf, and then the demon king, in the hardest battle of your life. You think itās over and then the demon king decides itās better to lose himself completely than let you win. Youāre exhausted and afraid of yet another battle, but up there in the sky, when youāre falling, the Light Dragon catches you (you wonder why she changed her path to catch you, you wonder if thereās still something of Zelda left in there to save). With her help, you win.
And then youāre in some other realm. The spirits of Sonia and Rauru are there. You remember how the two of them and Zelda channeled such incredible power together. You think about Recall. Turning something back to the memory of what it was before, like Sonia said. You stand with them and you allow yourself to hope. Maybe the Light Dragon can remember the form she took so long ago, the person that she was.
And then youāre falling, and Zelda is falling, but this time you catch her. You catch her. Sheās back home with you, finally, finally.
And maybe, one mistake doesnāt have to be the end of the world. You donāt have to be perfect. Sometimes, someone else can stand with you, and itāll all turn out alright. (You can put the weight of the world on your shoulders, you can sacrifice yourself, but someone will be there to catch you, someone will be there to pull you back to yourself, when all is said and done).
#loz#tears of the kingdom#Link#Zelda#I will say also that I think part of the reason totk is special to me is very personal#like when it came out I was still struggling with the worst burnout of my life#I had had a few months of exhaustion between January and March and in May that exhaustion was still sticking to me#it was hard to get out of bed hard to do anything I felt so tired that I almost felt sick but I wasnāt sick#and the thing is Zelda games are my biggest special interest#and having a new one to play like genuinely Iām not joking it gave me bsck so much energy#I was doing really badly but when totk came out I played it for an entire weekend straight basically#and like my mom came to visit me and help me out with basic life stuff#and like sit with me while I played just like enjoying being together#and that was really nice#over that summer and the fall after I started getting to know someone I work with better#largely over conversations about totk at first#and theyāve become a good friend#(and become someone that I feel safe to be fully myself around)#and so I just have this really strong personal connection to totk#like I will not claim to be impartial about it#there are definitely criticisms that I can acknowledge#in particular I donāt like that they un-amputeed Link let Link be disabled#and also ganondorfās characterization was shallow and one dimensional#and Iām sure thereās other things I could think of#but the overall narrative#including Zelda becoming the light dragon and then turning back in the end#I really like that#it felt like a narrative of healing to me#and playing it at the time that I did felt really healing to me too
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Part 2!
hmmm i wonder how this interaction is gonna go š
Masterpost || Next
#finding home au#sadā¢leonart#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise leonardo#rise raphael#rise michelangelo#rise donatello#rise splinter#big mama#was gonna add the next scene in this but i feel burnout coming on so im not pushing it#i do have a quick animatic in the works so the next update may be a hot minute away#depends on how much stress drawing i do lol#anyways-#very excited to yalls reactions#donnie is not happy about all this#i cant wait to draw him interacting with leo <3#leo thinking hes a yokai is definately not gonna bite him later on /sarc#gali was so hard to draw in that last panel that I actually had to stop drawing last night and take a breather lol
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Happy birthday dr xenoš„°
World domination talk over the sunset
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/930b4fa634db7f5172d45725fa378b9b/6aca372abc2f4423-2e/s540x810/0c8ea5cb39d487d84904f82d64d60b0187082d7e.jpg)
#dr stone manga spoilers#dr stone#dr. stone#xeno houston wingfield#dr xeno#stanley snyder#stanxeno#dcst#i think his claws could be longer...#but i was speedrunning this in less than what#4hrs or so#also had a slight burnout when drawin stan could u imagine my frustation because i cant get his face right
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Meursault askblog post #3: what do you feel when you think about your Mother?
Askblog tag: #nmoroder meursault ask Please see pinned blog post before asking questions!
Ooh boy here we go. i've had several thoughts abt Meur's mother just off the top of my head when i was new to the characters and overall lore, but time passed and my knowledge grew and now those theories suck and im excited to know what its really all about. Nevertheless i feel like its something not so pleasant to think about for him, and since we've got like endless time before his canto comes up, i am free to do whatever i please. sorry man!
#limbus company#meursault limbus company#vk askblog#moroderdraws#I AM TERRIBLY SORRY if the french at second pic is wrong anywhere#i tried to pick best context match in what i had but i have zero grammar knowledge of that language. forgive that#i dont think i will be using that much of french anyway. its for the Aesthetics you know#Also yeah the fact that i did so many comic posts this months sadly doesnt mean this gonna keep going like that for long...#burnout and all that ya know. just letting you know its not my usual pace and im just hyperfixating really hard rn#i will probably do 2-3/month later#nmoroder meursault ask
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šš°šššš„š² ššššš¢šÆš š¦š šš§ š¦š² šš«ššš¦š¬... [ā”]
#ominis gaunt#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#mydrawings#i had a burst of inspiration today after thinking about anatomy lol#i'm actually quite happy with how this turned out even coloring wise#i normally hate my coloring lol#i actually miss drawing omi-chan#i think i'm experiencing bg3 burnout...idk tho maybe that's just today
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SUPER DUPER QUICK BEFORE I FORGET I HAVE A COUPLE QUESTIONS FOR YOU GUYS
1. Last year for the whole month of November I posted a piece every single day and Iām curious would anyone be interested if I did that again this year??? :00
And 2. Would anyone be interested if I did an art raffle kind of thang????? Cuz I hit a Number of followers and Iāve always wanted to do one but Iām never had the chance to!!!!
#I called the thing where I posted something every day Ericvember and I did it cuz my birthdays at the start of Nov but Iām really nervous#for my birthday this year BCBDBDJCHXJ#also itād be really nice to post some older art cuz Iāve been in the worst art block/burnout state Iāve ever had I think in my whole life#this year and Iām just tryna ease myself back into making art consistently again BCBDBDNXJDJ#I hope nobody minds how low-effort my posts have been lately!!! I know itās just been a lot of doodles but again life stuff plus the worst#art block/burnout ever is an evil combo#Iām also really scared of doing the art raffle and making it seem like Iām. flaunting how many followers I have Yāknow BCNDHDNDJDND#LIKE I DONT WANNA SEEM LIKE IM SHOWING OFF I JUST REALLY WANNA DRAW SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE ELSE
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